Business MashUp

I’ve been reading a great book lately by psychologist, Dr. Henry Cloud (of  “Boundaries” fame), entitled “9 Things You Simply Must Do.”  The title seemed interesting, but the tag line really got my attention, “A Psychologist Probes the Mystery of Why Some Lives Really Work and Others Don’t.”

The book probes nine characteristics that the author has repeatedly found in people who succeed.  As I plowed through each chapter, I’ve systematically checked off each attribute, assuring myself that “I’ve got that covered.”

I understood the principles of  getting in touch with my talents and treasures, not hanging on to bad stuff too long, looking ahead to possible consequences (play the movie), doing something instead of nothing…  Well, you get the idea.  Not that I have mastered everything, but I certainly have a firm grasp on points one through eight…or so I thought.

Chapter 8 of Dr. Cloud’s book delves into being humble.  He lays out the definition of humility as not having a need to being more than you are.  Okay, I got that.  But, it seems that true humility doesn’t stop there.  It also includes letting go of the compulsion to be seen as “right” or “good,” and being more interested in what is best, no matter who is right or wrong.

Now, I am in marketing.  My job is to create websites and media for my clients that put them in a positive light.  It’s my goal to sell my client to his/her target audience.  This demands high energy that pulls from my creative reservoirs;  stretching for every ounce of  “atta’-boy” I can muster onto a client’s web page, brochure, or PowerPoint presentation that I design for them.

Also, I am wired to be a high achiever.  Type A.  That’s me.  My brother said it once so well:  We were raised under the mantra “duty first.”

But, what happens when I mess up?  Heralding from a marketing background, my knee-jerk reaction is to never let them see me sweat.  Never let the client think that I am less than perfect.  After all, isn’t it great “marketing” to create the illusion that all is well? Won’t they lose confidence in me and my work?  And, worse, will they judge me?

My years of retail training when I was an interior designer taught me oodles on how to come up against customer complaints.  We used the “feel, felt, found” method which sounded something like this:

Yes, Mrs. Jones, I know how you feel…

I have felt that way myself when my sofa wasn’t the color I thought I ordered…

But I have found that once I got it into the room, it looked great under the lighting…

Nowhere in that training were we instructed to say, “Yes, Mrs. Jones, I messed up!  I ordered the wrong fabric for that sofa.” Being humble was considered being whimpy and weak in the workplace.

So, I pondered on the words I read in that book, gulped hard, and turned out the light before calling it a night.  The next morning, I thought more about how successful people learn the way of humility, how when they implement it, they create a transparency about themselves.  They become more genuine and those around them feel like they can be trusted.

It didn’t take long for me to have to put what I read into practice.  The day found me booked solid, feverishly working on a website, juggling client calls, emails, and the occasional interruption update from my husband on his projects.  I glanced at the clock near closing time and thought I’d have enough time to run to the bank and post office before calling it a day.  Then, I got the email.  And then the follow-up call to the email.

A client had called to discuss his final tweaks to his website that went live a few days ago.  He had some colleagues critique it and look for edits, etc.  He sent me an email with their feedback and was calling me to follow up.

That old “knee-jerk” feeling returned and I found myself feeling defensive.  I stammered, I stuttered, I explained.  We hung up, the client almost apologizing and me feeling guilty.

I grabbed my book off the table and opened it to where I had left off the night before. I read,

Give up any investment in looking good, right, or any other posture that makes you different from the rest of humanity.

and…

Use failure as a teacher and a friend.  Be humble.

I closed the book and knew what I had to do.  I threw the car keys back on the desk, rebooted my computer, and took another look at the client’s email.  I opened up PhotoShop and my web-building software and started making some edits to things that I had not noticed when building that website.

And, then I emailed the client to apologize (would have called but it was really late by then).  My business line rang within a minute or two and, yes, it was the client.  He was appreciative and seemed so thankful that he had been heard.  I gave him a verbal apology for my defensiveness and he graciously accepted it. We hung up and I felt so relieved and liberated and I believe that the client was very pleased, as well.

For me, it was time for a paradigm shift.  I had to embrace the notion that  it’s okay to fail and there’s strength and freedom in admitting it.

So, what belief are you holding on to that’s not serving you well?  Could you be ready for a paradigm shift, too?

~Posted by Tricia Corman, head of Digital Media @ End2End